Marking Everyday. But Still Going Nowhere.

Ah the enjoyment of my time down here in San Diego. It's my hometown and I do miss it so. Of course a visit of it is all that's needed before I venture off into college.

Well a glimpse of what has happened so far:

Got an iPhone (yumm!!!)
Ate pie (and got a 5% increase of yummy too!)
Played Golf
Joined a 24hr fitness center (work out anytime all the time)
Went to an opening night for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (waited in line for 4 hours...well 2 of it was in the theater in comfortable seats :)

Future events:
Six Flags
Casino (to play blackjack of course)
Grad Party
Golf Tournament
Figure out my social displacement in the world (explained later in post)
Paintball!!

Ok so my summer has been fun so far, had some relax and do nothing days. Though the only bummer of it was that I wasn't able to get a job hence no income. But hey that's ok I figure some other ways to get cash, and not in an illegal way since....all my friends know I do illegal stuff online (not for money though)

So yes this social displacement. Well if I had a graph for it, which actually would be no point since the social bar would be so low and almost unseen. But I keep getting this awful feeling in my stomach telling me "Chris your on the edge again, your leaning to either be ok or a helpless wreck"
Which I don't know why I am feeling like this. Oh wait I do
Its more of a displeasure of whats taken shape around me. I am actually just frustrated with two people (who shall remain unnamed). Its hard to shape words to take the form of question, as it can easily fall into hatred or jealousy that makes me look bad. I guess the simple answer is, their happiness. Now to make things clear, I am glad that they are happy, I haven't seen her this happy in awhile and well its nice because I know that things have shaped up nicely. But the result of my question is, at what cost?
See my displeasure comes in as what has changed and what I need to start accepting and I am powerless to fight it because my influence goes only so far. So yes the result of both of them being together has changed many things, and luckily for the better. But the thing that I am digressing about is, where does it leave me? See they have shaped their lives with each other in which doesn't include many other people, and I mean it doesn't include anybody close, or at least thats what it feels like. Which sucks. Period.
But the group of us used to be so immersed in with each other and well it was a nice feeling, and well really fun. But now its just broken off into "only the two of them" and the rest of us have only to linger with the other trinkets in our life, which compared to others, I have much fewer. Realizing this has become distasteful knowing that they only bind themselves together and really include no one else. Of course unless brought upon them is when they shall include others. But they never think of including and immersing others in their lives on their own. It seems like it has to be forced upon them.

Is it a sign of immaturity in their relationship? I think it is a little. Which I knew they would greatly disagree with me. I'm sure anyone would if they saw my true position in this world when it comes to relationships (lets just say I currently reside in the moon's shadow)

I don't know really. I am mostly rambling about this.

My thoughts in my head are faintly lit with the coherence that allow me to explain my quandary properly. I wish I could find a way to fix this, while being able to retain the happiness they have achieved. Of course time is actually coming to a halt soon. And the time I have in this life of IC will soon be short lived, and a new one with birth.


For my mind to remain at ease, and all the memories remain untainted. This soul wrestles with one simple thought: I need closure.