Returning The Shooting Star

Do you believe in wishes?

I hope you do.

Because I don't.

That's what divides you and me, drifts each other apart.

Yet why am I still looking at you?

Do I see something different every time I close my eyes, and when I open them it's gone?
It's a pity to see that you believe in wishes.

Yet I hope you do.

For me it's just another string of hope that I want to thread death with.

Woops that was emo, not doing that again

You really think that if you look up at the sky, somehow all of your dreams will come true.

I instead, look in a mirror

You really think that you can see right through me?

When you can't even see through yourself?

It's a pity, but I hope you believe in wishes.

Because I never will.

I don't wish for anything less.

Yet I still wish to be with you.

This madness needs to stop.
For what good does it bring other than one more chance for me to look into your eyes.

[End]

Sorrows Envy. Pain Endured. God Questioned.

A traumatizing experience. Nothing has words to describe it. You can only see tears that fall down many people's faces. This day. Is done.

Even though I didn't know him. Doesn't mean its okay. It still hurts, to know why ones life ends so quickly. We try to find reasons. Reasons that justify. But it never justifies the truth. It only justifies what we want to believe. Makes it right. When we close our eyes. Just because we can't look at reality's tears.

I hate this. This day. I can't believe this. It tears me up to see others feel like this. I hate it. It pains me.

Even God can't do anything about it.

Yet I cannot be there for anybody. I wouldn't help. I just have to sit here. Holding on to a bottle that keeps everything inside. It's sad. It's depressing. How much of a ripple effect this can cause. Even though I didn't know him. Other people knew him. They were much closer. Now they only hold onto memories. Because he is gone. If only he can look at what he has done to people. If only he knew how everyone else felt.

*Sigh* just as I was able to carry myself back up. Everything gets pushed down again. Just when I thought I could keep being happy. Everything gets pushed down again. Just as I thought when hope had wings. Everything gets pushed down again.

"When Life, an unstoppable force. Meets Death, an immovable object."

The Echoes of Angels That Wont Return

If I manage to get through this year without pulling a knife on someone, I will be surprised. Actually I'm joking and its just more of the way I have been feeling. It's difficult to stand by and have your hopes crushed and you can do nothing about but watch as tears fall out of your eyes.

The quiet scares me because it screams the truth

*sigh* I don't even know how to describe it. Maybe I am holding back because I am afraid to write down what I am thinking.

So be it.
Can't escape it.
I'll let it eat me alive.
And have no remorse that is felt by other people.

Damn I need to get out of this mood.

It's sickening, and I'm probably going to keep going on about the pointlessness of it all.

What makes me truly happy? If only I knew. If only you knew.
Bah. Forget it.

Did That Bomb Just Explode?

"Yes it did"

"Yes quite"

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"I say how about some krumpets?"

"Or a bomb in zee face"

A Dim Lit Future

Apperently I can't take tests, more specifically the SAT

It's really sad of how low I scored on the damn thing. Even in math.

I don't understand that I am able to take Math 170 (A college class) yet someone that barely passed Algebra could score much better than me.

I don't know, apparently this test shows my future.

Gawd I would do anything to get into a good college.

There is always something missing, yet of course I don't know what or else I would be spending the rest of my life trying to fix it.

*sigh*

Depressed.....

When an Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object

The Week

So stressful
I don't know what to do
Fricken sucks
Its not because I'm a senior
Its not because of school
It's people Its annoying me

Stupid stupid people....

If a stupid person could realize their stupidity, and not have someone else tell them......

Gawd its a weird week
It's putting me in a weird mood my emotions well are not on a roller coaster
Or blasting off into the outer space
They seem to be digging towards the center of the Earth

Which is bad

Grawr....

Fuck it. Common sense can't even find a job in this economy.

I'll Mend Myself Before It Gets Me

*Sigh* Man school is on its way to a close, and I realize that I only have so much time left in Idaho City. I feel this semester is going to be completely different from the last, and well it’s expected. We prepare ourselves with our predetermined futures that sits in our minds waiting to get out, not know that we have so much more ahead of us.

The unknown is coming and most people don’t even realize that their dreams are going to go through some changes, whether it be the school that they go too or the fact that what they though was a dream was merely something that should be left to the kids to think about. I come back from San Diego knowing that I need to start getting my act together.

Though I have dubbed SD as my false reality that I share with no one else...

As I speak of this, still there is something missing, well actually It's something that I am missing personally which I do not choose to describe at this moment because I still don't know what to think of it. But, yes something missing, I emerse myself into all of this discression I have about what I need to prepare for the future when I still need to do one last thing before. Which of course it might not even happen, but still if I can make myself curious about it, then it should be something worthwhile to go for.